The Fabulous Renovation of Me

After a long spring semester and a brief hiatus from my blog, I have done an introspection and decided it is time for a renovation. Much like a house needs to be updated every so often, fashion designers update their classics, and car companies release new models of their cars, I decided it is time to develop Daryl J. Version 5.0.

Honestly, the last couple of months have been quite tumultuous for me. I am a little bruised, battered, and beaten. But I have made it through. I have always been a tenacious individual, so I had to employ some tenacity and tapped into my intestinal fortitude to make it through the past few months. We all go through tough seasons in our lives and I am no different.

One of the Pastors I follow on Twitter (@JayGamble) recently referenced Langston’s Hughes poem “From Mother to Son.” Langston is one of my favorite poets and this is one of my favorite poems. The premise of the poem is how the mother has lived a hard life and had many painful experiences along the way, but has managed to persevere through the difficult obstacles she has experienced in her life.

I know the human condition is hard, but being the best you is your way of surviving it. Sometimes you have to adapt to the changes in your life and your new environment by reinventing yourself. You too must go through an introspection process and do an inventory to determine that which needs improvement inside of you.

One of the aspects I plan to improve is my weight. I am happiest and feel my best when I am at a certain weight which I am not at right now. (I will talk more about this in a future article) Another aspect I plan to change is just working on improving me overall.

As I always say, I live a hectic live and have noticed that in the midst of all the chaos, I have lost focus of myself. I have a lot going on in my life right now and am going through a transitional process. While in this process though, I have forgotten how important it is to focus on that which continually makes and keeps me happy.

So while doing some spring cleaning, do a spring introspection and take inventory of that which you wish to improve within yourself. It may be boosting your confidence to date again, losing weight like me, or mustering up the courage to go back to school.

Change is good and I am sure no matter whom you are that you could use some renovations in your life. Life is not a crystal stair, but it does not mean we have to look like we have taken the stairs with tacks in it to get to where we are now in life. You do not have to look like your situation, but always remember the exact details of your situation.

Feel free to tell people about what you renovated in your life and do not leave out a single thing. After time, we begin to forget how hard our experiences were and sugarcoat the pain we endured. Pain propels us to the next level in life, so never diminish the pain you felt for any reason. Who knows, your story may minister to someone else and help them through their situation without you even knowing it.

The time has come and the season is now for you to renovate yourself. You may have pushed it back until you have the mental resources available or because it is a painful process. Whatever the reason, this process cannot wait.

If you are not sure about how to start the renovation process, read my blog article on the 30 Day Reset which will serve as a great starting point. In order to bring about change in our lives sometimes, it has to start with us. So get together your plan for renovation with your ultimate goal and make sure you stick to it because it is time to become a better you.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

The Fabulous First Date

Before I get started, let me clear the record. This is, nor will it ever be, a relationship blog. I am not going to lie, relationships are my one weakness in life and I am no expert. So if you are looking for relationship and dating tips, I am sure there is a blog out there by someone else for you, but this is not it. Whew! Now that I have that out of the way, I will tell you how to go about making that first date fabulous.

My first recommendation is to select a restaurant which is intimate and sets the mood. The ambiance will help you with your nerves and will encourage interaction with your date. If the place has candles on the table, even better.

Always pick a restaurant that serves small plates. If you select a place with large entrées, you may spend more time eating than talking and getting to know each other. However, if your date is talking while eating, this may be a sign that the relationship will not work (at least it is to me). The other reason for this tip is because you do not want to go to a place that serves large entrées and you eat everything on your plate because your date might judge you negatively.

When drinking cocktails, always remember there is a two drink maximum. No exceptions! I know alcohol is liquid courage, but if you consume too much alcohol, you may slip up and divulge too much information too soon or simply embarrass yourself.

Lastly, pick a restaurant with a nice and intimate environment. This may require some research because you want to go to a nice restaurant where you are able to hear each other and not have to yell at each other because the restaurant is too loud. Trust me, I have done this before and it did not result in a good first date.

When it comes to deciding what to wear, I say wear your Sunday’s best or buy something new. You want this person to see you at your best, and when they tell you how good you look, play humble and act like it is an old outfit you just threw together. I know this may sound vain, but you want the person to have the best visual of you in their mind and this is how you make that happen.

Another reason why I do this is because I am a little high maintenance (okay, maybe a lot). Getting myself all “fabed up” is my way of non-verbally communicating this message because I cannot wait three months later for this to come out and then he runs for the hills. If he is able to deal with me being more high maintenance than a Range Rover, he will automatically earn some extra credits points.

But really, I know first dates are very nerve wracking, so just be yourself. If you are on a date and they are unable to appreciate how fabulous you are, this is a sign they are not meant for you. If you are currently going through a dating drought, get all dressed up and go sit at the bar of your favorite restaurant. You will probably meet someone this way and the person is there for a reason, so they probably like the restaurant as much as you do.

You know, being fabulous is nice and all, but it is even nicer to be fabulous with someone else. If for whatever reason you have told yourself you do not want to date or are not ready to date, go on a date. At the end of the day, living fabulously is about taking chances and having fun, so call up that person you have been avoiding and take them up on their offer to go out on a fabulous first date.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Never Envy the Fabulous of Someone Else

A smart person told me a long time ago, “You may see my glory, but you do not know my story.” What they meant by this is you see how fabulous I am on the outside, but you do not know what I had to go through to get here. This phrase changed my life because from that moment on, I never wanted what anyone else had in life.

Growing up we all admire the nice clothes, cars, and houses of others. But what we do not know is what it took to obtain these accoutrements. I am sure if we could interrogate the fabulous wardrobe, house, and cars of some of the most fabulous people in the world, they would have a story to tell.

When you see that woman walking down the street in her Louboutins, Chanel suit, and getting into a Lexus, you do not know what is really going on in her life. You do not know many nights she could not sleep because she could not afford to quit the job she hates or the countless days she spent working overtime so her Lexus would not get repossessed. We do not know the whole story because I am sure there is more there than meets the eye.

Maybe she has the fine man who looks like he just walked off the cover of GQ, but the relationship is empty. Maybe he has the perfectly chiseled body, but he has cancer. The cover of a person’s story may be appealing, but the actual story may be a gut wrenching, tear jerker.

Everyone has a story; we just do not always know it. I am not saying there is anything wrong with admiring someone and wishing you had their lifestyle, but be careful because you do not know what they had to go through to get where they are in life. People often tell me I seem like I live a nice life. In my head I am thinking, “Do you know what I have to go through to keep it up?” It is a lot of hard work.

I bring all this up to say that sometimes in life you should stay in your own lane, at your own pace. Do not worry about what everyone else has or is doing because you do not know what they went through to get it and the price they had to pay for it.

You may not be able to live a Louboutin life yet, but there is nothing wrong with that. Aspire to someday be able to purchase a pair, but be content with a pair of shoes from Steve Madden in the interim. With hard work and dedication, anything is possible. So at the end of the day, never envy what others have because their stuff may be fabulous, but their life may not.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

It Is Time to Get Rid of All Your Fabulous Excess Baggage

After a recent discussion I had with one of my friends, it made me think about all the excessive emotional baggage we carry around with us on a daily basis. Some of us have our emotions in plastic bags while others of us have our emotions in designer bags. In those bags may be some stuff we ourselves did not even put in there, so we want to check for any stowaway issues and remove them. Unfortunately at the end of the day, we are all carrying around some excess baggage, so it is time to let it go.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

The Fabulous Role Friends Play in Your Life

After watching Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech on the Oscars, it became clear to me the important role friends play in this fabulous life of mine. I had actually started writing a blog article a month ago about friends and how they serve as a support system. And Then I became stuck. It was not until that moment when I saw the emotion Meryl felt when discussing her friends and colleagues that it made me think about me and my friends.

I really do not talk too much about myself on my blog. If I do, it is just to show how experienced I am in an area and to provide my resume on a topic. In all actuality, I live a busy and hectic life. I work an exhausting 9-5 (even though I actually work in the evenings and sometimes miss social events), I am in school pursuing a Masters degree, and I have this blog. Some days I do not know how I do it, but I just do.

A big part of my life is my friends. I am an only child and they mean the world to me. As busy as I am, I always manage to pencil my friends in because the time I spend with them brings me joy and keeps me grounded. I have managed to cultivate good friendships over the years and it is so rewarding.

As a homosexual, it is so hard to find good friends to trust. This lifestyle is very difficult to live for a multitude of reasons, so to have friends that are on the same walk of life I am means the world to me. I honestly have a remarkable circle of friends who are all established in their own right.

Because of my friends, when I took a break during my undergraduate career, they inspired me to go back to school and finish. At one point in time I never thought I would have a Bachelors degree and now here I am pursuing a Masters degree because of them. We all inspire each other in different ways which is good.

Some of my other friends serve as a catalyst for my inspiration. We were just emailing each other today about where we are in life so far for the year and what we plan to accomplish for the remainder of the year. We inspire each other to truly live and pursue our dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem.

When living a fabulous life, your friends should always inspire you to become more fabulous than you already are in life. If you are the smartest, prettiest, most successful, most fabulous person in your circle of friends, it may be time to change your circle.

When you take a look around, you should all be on different roads leading to the same place. Friends are the people put in place to help you live this thing called life. When everything turns upside-down, people walk out, and you have know idea what is going on, your friends are the ones you should be able to count on to be there for you. Mine are!

If for a second you think you are able to be fabulous on your own, you are deceiving yourself. Just like the African adage which says it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a fabulous circle of friends to help keep you fabulous.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous or Faux Fabulous: Chanel Fur Muff Purse

A few weeks after giving birth to Blue Ivy, Beyonce was spotted out wearing this black fur Chanel muff purse. The purse, I mean muff, I mean muff purse (I am so confused) reportedly retails for somewhere around $4,500. It holds your most intimate belongings while keeping your hands warm all at the same time, so it is well worth the price to me. Who said fashion isn’t functional? In addition, I love fur. A designer could come out with a fur covered chapstick case and I would buy it. Of course I am talking about faux fur because I live in the D.C. area and those PETA extremists have been known to throw paint on people. I just wanted to put that out there before the local chapter adds me to their “throw paint on” list. Now back to the topic at hand. I think this bag is fabulous, and for the most part, Beyonce can do no wrong in my eyes. What do my FABs think and make sure you vote in the poll to the right?

Always Maintain Your Fabulous

We are only two months into the New Year, and even though the calendar year has changed, that does not mean your situation in life has changed. It is important to know that whatever your situation in life may be, you should never look like it.

Being fabulous does not take a vacation. I do not care if you are unemployed, depressed, your man or girl left you, whatever. The best revenge against this thing called life which will try to rid you of your fabulous at every given chance is to always maintain your fabulous at all times.

I know this first hand. Some years ago I went trough a fiscally challenging period in my life, but I was determined to not look like it. I did not have the money to go shopping, so I went shopping in my closet and wore clothes I forgot I had and clothes I had not worn in a long time. I also could not afford to get my haircut regularly like I used to, so I bought some hair gel and used the gel to bring out the small curls in my wavy hair.

I say all this to show you how when times get hard, you have to reach into your fabulous bag of tricks and throw a wrench in life’s plan. You have to think outside of the box and redefine your fabulous. What I went through was definitely a defining moment for me and why I say it costs nothing to be fabulous because I know this first hand. Of course with money we are all able to get nicer things, but for those of you experiencing fiscal challenges right now, this is my way of letting you know you are still able to be fabulous.

All my FAB ones out there, it is our responsibility to help keep each other fabulous. When your associate in fabulous is going through something, help to make sure they maintain their fabulous and let them know when they start to slip. At one point in time or another, we all need a little support, so it is our duty as FAB ones to ban together and serve as a support system. I know whatever you are going through may be painful, but always remember the fact that you feel pain is an indication you still have life left within you, so strive to live fabulously no matter what.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!