Never Envy the Fabulous of Someone Else

A smart person told me a long time ago, “You may see my glory, but you do not know my story.” What they meant by this is you see how fabulous I am on the outside, but you do not know what I had to go through to get here. This phrase changed my life because from that moment on, I never wanted what anyone else had in life.

Growing up we all admire the nice clothes, cars, and houses of others. But what we do not know is what it took to obtain these accoutrements. I am sure if we could interrogate the fabulous wardrobe, house, and cars of some of the most fabulous people in the world, they would have a story to tell.

When you see that woman walking down the street in her Louboutins, Chanel suit, and getting into a Lexus, you do not know what is really going on in her life. You do not know many nights she could not sleep because she could not afford to quit the job she hates or the countless days she spent working overtime so her Lexus would not get repossessed. We do not know the whole story because I am sure there is more there than meets the eye.

Maybe she has the fine man who looks like he just walked off the cover of GQ, but the relationship is empty. Maybe he has the perfectly chiseled body, but he has cancer. The cover of a person’s story may be appealing, but the actual story may be a gut wrenching, tear jerker.

Everyone has a story; we just do not always know it. I am not saying there is anything wrong with admiring someone and wishing you had their lifestyle, but be careful because you do not know what they had to go through to get where they are in life. People often tell me I seem like I live a nice life. In my head I am thinking, “Do you know what I have to go through to keep it up?” It is a lot of hard work.

I bring all this up to say that sometimes in life you should stay in your own lane, at your own pace. Do not worry about what everyone else has or is doing because you do not know what they went through to get it and the price they had to pay for it.

You may not be able to live a Louboutin life yet, but there is nothing wrong with that. Aspire to someday be able to purchase a pair, but be content with a pair of shoes from Steve Madden in the interim. With hard work and dedication, anything is possible. So at the end of the day, never envy what others have because their stuff may be fabulous, but their life may not.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

The Fabulous Role Friends Play in Your Life

After watching Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech on the Oscars, it became clear to me the important role friends play in this fabulous life of mine. I had actually started writing a blog article a month ago about friends and how they serve as a support system. And Then I became stuck. It was not until that moment when I saw the emotion Meryl felt when discussing her friends and colleagues that it made me think about me and my friends.

I really do not talk too much about myself on my blog. If I do, it is just to show how experienced I am in an area and to provide my resume on a topic. In all actuality, I live a busy and hectic life. I work an exhausting 9-5 (even though I actually work in the evenings and sometimes miss social events), I am in school pursuing a Masters degree, and I have this blog. Some days I do not know how I do it, but I just do.

A big part of my life is my friends. I am an only child and they mean the world to me. As busy as I am, I always manage to pencil my friends in because the time I spend with them brings me joy and keeps me grounded. I have managed to cultivate good friendships over the years and it is so rewarding.

As a homosexual, it is so hard to find good friends to trust. This lifestyle is very difficult to live for a multitude of reasons, so to have friends that are on the same walk of life I am means the world to me. I honestly have a remarkable circle of friends who are all established in their own right.

Because of my friends, when I took a break during my undergraduate career, they inspired me to go back to school and finish. At one point in time I never thought I would have a Bachelors degree and now here I am pursuing a Masters degree because of them. We all inspire each other in different ways which is good.

Some of my other friends serve as a catalyst for my inspiration. We were just emailing each other today about where we are in life so far for the year and what we plan to accomplish for the remainder of the year. We inspire each other to truly live and pursue our dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem.

When living a fabulous life, your friends should always inspire you to become more fabulous than you already are in life. If you are the smartest, prettiest, most successful, most fabulous person in your circle of friends, it may be time to change your circle.

When you take a look around, you should all be on different roads leading to the same place. Friends are the people put in place to help you live this thing called life. When everything turns upside-down, people walk out, and you have know idea what is going on, your friends are the ones you should be able to count on to be there for you. Mine are!

If for a second you think you are able to be fabulous on your own, you are deceiving yourself. Just like the African adage which says it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a fabulous circle of friends to help keep you fabulous.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Being Fabulous Does Not Equate to Being Stuck-Up

I often get told that people are shocked I am so nice because I do not seem like I would be. After thinking about this for a moment, I figured out why: most people who are considered fabulous act stuck up, so these two terms over time have become synonymous.

When I described my blog I said, “I do not think I am more fabulous than life.” But truth be told, there are some people who do. Being fabulous in no way means a faux fabulous attitude is required. Humility is imperative no matter how fabulous you are at the end of the day because we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

It really does not matter which designer clothes you wear, the car you drive, or the size of your house. These things are all nice (trust me, they are), but they are just things. At the end of the day, being fabulous requires no external assistance. There is nothing wrong with employing the accoutrements of a fabulous life, but to be fabulous, it is really all about you.

Let me tell you, if you put on a trash bag and walk outside and you are really fabulous, people will still see how fabulous you are in life. So stop getting caught up on the images portrayed in the media of fabulous and define it for yourself.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Live Life Fabulously

Overtime it has become a part of our culture to overwork ourselves. Everyone talks about how they are “grinding,” but even the gears on a machine after grinding so long wear down and need to be replaced. Unfortunately, we are not machines and the effects of exhaustion on our bodies are much more dire.

Last spring when I was completing my bachelors degree (a 15 credit semester), I worked full-time while also completing an internship. Towards the end of the semester, I was so exhausted and worn out, I became sick. I was supposed to then go to Atlanta to complete another internship, but I had to cancel it because I needed to rest and restore my fabulous.

I became so caught up with trying to make life happen, I forgot about me. Sometime ago (years before Drake said it) Rev. Sheleta Fomby at my church taught me “everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” And when you stop to think about this for a moment, it is true. Now I always make sure I have a good balance in life (or at least I try to).

What I love to do most in life is spend time with my friends. I am an only child, so they are like family to me. I love going out to eat at fabulous restaurants around the city and just getting together at our homes to relax and catch up with one another.

So do what makes you happy and brings you joy in life. But before it gets too late in the New Year, you may need to take a moment to redefine how you live your life. Spend more time with your partner, your kids, your friends, and your family. These are the people who contribute to making your life fabulous. You work hard, so make sure you take time to reap the rewards of all your hard work.

I want everyone to know that life is too short to be working hard to maintain a fabulous lifestyle while not making time to live fabulously. In my eyes, the downfall of our culture is the corporate belief we have that we must always work so much. Let down your hair (or go get a fresh haircut for the gentlemen), put on a fabulous outfit, and go out to have fun. My challenge to you for 2012 is to live. It is time to come back to life and live your life fabulously!

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!