Never Envy the Fabulous of Someone Else

A smart person told me a long time ago, “You may see my glory, but you do not know my story.” What they meant by this is you see how fabulous I am on the outside, but you do not know what I had to go through to get here. This phrase changed my life because from that moment on, I never wanted what anyone else had in life.

Growing up we all admire the nice clothes, cars, and houses of others. But what we do not know is what it took to obtain these accoutrements. I am sure if we could interrogate the fabulous wardrobe, house, and cars of some of the most fabulous people in the world, they would have a story to tell.

When you see that woman walking down the street in her Louboutins, Chanel suit, and getting into a Lexus, you do not know what is really going on in her life. You do not know many nights she could not sleep because she could not afford to quit the job she hates or the countless days she spent working overtime so her Lexus would not get repossessed. We do not know the whole story because I am sure there is more there than meets the eye.

Maybe she has the fine man who looks like he just walked off the cover of GQ, but the relationship is empty. Maybe he has the perfectly chiseled body, but he has cancer. The cover of a person’s story may be appealing, but the actual story may be a gut wrenching, tear jerker.

Everyone has a story; we just do not always know it. I am not saying there is anything wrong with admiring someone and wishing you had their lifestyle, but be careful because you do not know what they had to go through to get where they are in life. People often tell me I seem like I live a nice life. In my head I am thinking, “Do you know what I have to go through to keep it up?” It is a lot of hard work.

I bring all this up to say that sometimes in life you should stay in your own lane, at your own pace. Do not worry about what everyone else has or is doing because you do not know what they went through to get it and the price they had to pay for it.

You may not be able to live a Louboutin life yet, but there is nothing wrong with that. Aspire to someday be able to purchase a pair, but be content with a pair of shoes from Steve Madden in the interim. With hard work and dedication, anything is possible. So at the end of the day, never envy what others have because their stuff may be fabulous, but their life may not.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

It Is Time to Get Rid of All Your Fabulous Excess Baggage

After a recent discussion I had with one of my friends, it made me think about all the excessive emotional baggage we carry around with us on a daily basis. Some of us have our emotions in plastic bags while others of us have our emotions in designer bags. In those bags may be some stuff we ourselves did not even put in there, so we want to check for any stowaway issues and remove them. Unfortunately at the end of the day, we are all carrying around some excess baggage, so it is time to let it go.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

The Fabulous Role Friends Play in Your Life

After watching Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech on the Oscars, it became clear to me the important role friends play in this fabulous life of mine. I had actually started writing a blog article a month ago about friends and how they serve as a support system. And Then I became stuck. It was not until that moment when I saw the emotion Meryl felt when discussing her friends and colleagues that it made me think about me and my friends.

I really do not talk too much about myself on my blog. If I do, it is just to show how experienced I am in an area and to provide my resume on a topic. In all actuality, I live a busy and hectic life. I work an exhausting 9-5 (even though I actually work in the evenings and sometimes miss social events), I am in school pursuing a Masters degree, and I have this blog. Some days I do not know how I do it, but I just do.

A big part of my life is my friends. I am an only child and they mean the world to me. As busy as I am, I always manage to pencil my friends in because the time I spend with them brings me joy and keeps me grounded. I have managed to cultivate good friendships over the years and it is so rewarding.

As a homosexual, it is so hard to find good friends to trust. This lifestyle is very difficult to live for a multitude of reasons, so to have friends that are on the same walk of life I am means the world to me. I honestly have a remarkable circle of friends who are all established in their own right.

Because of my friends, when I took a break during my undergraduate career, they inspired me to go back to school and finish. At one point in time I never thought I would have a Bachelors degree and now here I am pursuing a Masters degree because of them. We all inspire each other in different ways which is good.

Some of my other friends serve as a catalyst for my inspiration. We were just emailing each other today about where we are in life so far for the year and what we plan to accomplish for the remainder of the year. We inspire each other to truly live and pursue our dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem.

When living a fabulous life, your friends should always inspire you to become more fabulous than you already are in life. If you are the smartest, prettiest, most successful, most fabulous person in your circle of friends, it may be time to change your circle.

When you take a look around, you should all be on different roads leading to the same place. Friends are the people put in place to help you live this thing called life. When everything turns upside-down, people walk out, and you have know idea what is going on, your friends are the ones you should be able to count on to be there for you. Mine are!

If for a second you think you are able to be fabulous on your own, you are deceiving yourself. Just like the African adage which says it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a fabulous circle of friends to help keep you fabulous.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous or Faux Fabulous: Oscars Edition 2012

I am not going to lie, it was hard to decide who was Fabulous and who was Faux Fabulous at tonight’s Oscars. The ladies who I selected for my Fabulous list really soared above the rest and stuck out to me. The ladies whom I picked as Faux Fabulous were not cited for too many fashion violations, but there were some small details which caused them to be featured on my Faux Fabulous list. See all the ladies who made my Fabulous or Faux Fabulous Oscars Edition list after the jump.

Click "read more" below to see the entire list.

Always Maintain Your Fabulous

We are only two months into the New Year, and even though the calendar year has changed, that does not mean your situation in life has changed. It is important to know that whatever your situation in life may be, you should never look like it.

Being fabulous does not take a vacation. I do not care if you are unemployed, depressed, your man or girl left you, whatever. The best revenge against this thing called life which will try to rid you of your fabulous at every given chance is to always maintain your fabulous at all times.

I know this first hand. Some years ago I went trough a fiscally challenging period in my life, but I was determined to not look like it. I did not have the money to go shopping, so I went shopping in my closet and wore clothes I forgot I had and clothes I had not worn in a long time. I also could not afford to get my haircut regularly like I used to, so I bought some hair gel and used the gel to bring out the small curls in my wavy hair.

I say all this to show you how when times get hard, you have to reach into your fabulous bag of tricks and throw a wrench in life’s plan. You have to think outside of the box and redefine your fabulous. What I went through was definitely a defining moment for me and why I say it costs nothing to be fabulous because I know this first hand. Of course with money we are all able to get nicer things, but for those of you experiencing fiscal challenges right now, this is my way of letting you know you are still able to be fabulous.

All my FAB ones out there, it is our responsibility to help keep each other fabulous. When your associate in fabulous is going through something, help to make sure they maintain their fabulous and let them know when they start to slip. At one point in time or another, we all need a little support, so it is our duty as FAB ones to ban together and serve as a support system. I know whatever you are going through may be painful, but always remember the fact that you feel pain is an indication you still have life left within you, so strive to live fabulously no matter what.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

FAB Alert: Adele Covers Vogue

About two years ago when Adele released her debut album 19, it was rumored that she was to cover Vogue magazine at that time, but she did not because Anna Wintour thought she was fat. We all know how Anna abhors “fat” people and even went as far as suggesting the camera man for “The September Issue” documentary about the legendary mag work on his stomach a little bit. She is not the only one because Karl Lagerfeld (say it ain’t so Uncle Karl) even recently referred to Adele as “too fat” and soon after said his comments were taken out of context. It is no surprise how the fashion industry feels about anyone larger than a size “0,” but even Vogue has to admit that Adele is the most talked about cover from them in months and has garnered them a lot of publicity. Furthermore, this will probably be one of their top selling issues this year (next to the September issue of course).

I have been waiting for this day since the original rumors began and I am so glad it has finally come. After looking at the photos, I am sure Grace Coddington directed this shoot because it has her name all over it and she did Adele justice. When I first saw the picture of her on the cover, I was literally speechless and just starred at it for a minute. She looks so fabulous! Of course there is a little air brushing, but who has an air brush not helped from time to time? So when the magazine hits newsstands, make sure your pick it up to show your fabulous support because this is as fabulous as it gets. Now that you are up to date on all things fabulous, back to our regularly scheduled fabulous programming…

Click "read more" below to see all of the photos.

Being Fabulous Does Not Equate to Being Stuck-Up

I often get told that people are shocked I am so nice because I do not seem like I would be. After thinking about this for a moment, I figured out why: most people who are considered fabulous act stuck up, so these two terms over time have become synonymous.

When I described my blog I said, “I do not think I am more fabulous than life.” But truth be told, there are some people who do. Being fabulous in no way means a faux fabulous attitude is required. Humility is imperative no matter how fabulous you are at the end of the day because we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

It really does not matter which designer clothes you wear, the car you drive, or the size of your house. These things are all nice (trust me, they are), but they are just things. At the end of the day, being fabulous requires no external assistance. There is nothing wrong with employing the accoutrements of a fabulous life, but to be fabulous, it is really all about you.

Let me tell you, if you put on a trash bag and walk outside and you are really fabulous, people will still see how fabulous you are in life. So stop getting caught up on the images portrayed in the media of fabulous and define it for yourself.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous or Faux Fabulous: Grammy Edition 2012

Honestly, there was not much to choose in regards to fashion from this year’s Grammy awards. A lot of the attendees played it safe, but some stood out from the rest in a positive way, while others stood out from the rest in a not so positive way. See all the ladies who made my Fabulous or Faux Fabulous Grammy Edition list after the jump.

Click "read more" below to see the entire list.

FAB Alert: Louis Vuitton's Revelation Keep-All Bag

Recently I saw this Louis Vuitton (LV) bag I wanted, so I am online searching for it because it is not shown on the LV website and I am singing to myself, “I’m getting a new Louis, I’m getting a new Louis!” I finally pull up the information on the bag, get my wallet, and pull out my credit card. Then I see the bag is part of a special collection only sold at the LV flagship stores with a price tag of $4,040. When I tell you I have never put my credit card back in my wallet so fast ever in life. The Revelation Keep-All bag came with a revelation that if I purchase it, I may wind up evicted from my apartment in a month or two, so I have mentally put the bag on lay-away in my mind. I like exclusive things, but I do not think there is space for my sofa, dinning room table, big screen TV, and at least my bed in there. Seriously, the bag is fabulous and seeing how Valentine’s Day is next week and my birthday is just around the corner, I thought I would drop a few hints in case someone wishes to gift this to me. As I said in my “Reasonably Fabulous” blog article, being fabulous is about living within your means and knowing when you should really splurge on an item. Even though I am able to buy the bag, at this point in my life while I have a lot of other goals I am working on achieving, it is not an item I need to purchase because it will distract me from achieving my goals. The bag moved me in some kind of fabulous way though, especially with its red interior, so I wanted to share this fabulous item with you all. Now do you all see why I like it? Whew! Now that that is out of the way, back to our regularly scheduled fabulous programming…

How to Have Fabulous Skin in Winter: Part One

We are almost halfway through winter officially, but because this is the time when your skin needs the most attention, I decided to do a winter skin care series dedicated to taking care of your fabulous skin during this particular season.

I know it has been quite warm this winter on the east coast, but this does not mean you should avoid changing your regimen because the nights still get cold and this has a major impact on your skin. For Part One of the series, I would like to discuss your face.

The skin on your face is different, primarily because it is exposed to the elements more, so it needs special attention unlike the rest of the skin on your body. It is important to take care of your skin continually because it helps your skin look fresh and youthful as you age.

Whenever it comes to skincare for your face, I always recommend reaching deep into your wallet because it will cost you. All the products will not be expensive, but some of them will be. However, do not believe the hype that all products from the top department stores are the best because they are not always. I myself use Neutrogena’s Visibly Even and have done so for the last seven years. It is my tried and true moisturizer (raises hand to the sky).

Recently when I was discussing how I was going to write a skincare series, one of my friends from college was excited because she said my skin always looked “silky smooth.” It took me some time to make this happen because to this day I still have oily skin which used to break-out constantly until I started using Proactiv.

I went through almost every product on the market which was either too abrasive or left my sensitive skin dry. I then started using Proactiv, but still had some issues with my skin being dry until I used the Neutrogena in combination with it. I am not suggesting everyone run out and purchase Proactiv solely because I use it, but I am using it as an example to show how you have to find what works best for your skin.

Because the chemistry of everyone’s skin is different, different brands and products respond differently. For example, I love Clinique, but its acne cleanser was not strong enough for my skin, but I know people who swear by it. Determine what problems your skin has and then try to find a product which focuses on fixing your skin’s problems.

As we all know, the body naturally makes oil, but the oil your face produces often clogs your pores resulting in blemishes or it settles on your face and makes it extra shiny. As a result, this is why you should always use oil-free moisturizers on your face because oil is your face’s sworn enemy.

Few people know this, but when the skin on your face is dry, it may break-out in fine bumps. You may also notice you wake-up and your skin is really tight. These are all signs that your skin is dry and needs some special attention.

One of the simplest ways to fix this is switching your moisturizer. When it comes to moisturizers, you should have a different moisturizer for summer and winter to address the different needs of your skin during these seasons. Summer moisturizers tend to be lighter and let your skin breathe while winter moisturizers are thicker and supply more moisture for your skin. Some moisturizers work all throughout the year, but you will not know this for sure until you give it a try.

Whenever you try a new product, always give it about 45 – 60 days to determine if it works because it takes time for your skin to adjust to it. If you see redness, severe dryness, or develop a rash, I recommend you stop using that product immediately.

Keep in mind that dry skin is a serious issue, so if you have severe dry skin, please consult a dermatologist so they are able to prescribe you a medicated product to combat this issue. All the solutions I have discussed here are to help you if you have dry skin temporarily due to it being winter.

Skincare regimens are costly and time consuming, but they are necessary because they invest in making sure your skin stays fabulous for a long time. If you are unwilling to take care of your face now, you will definitely see the less than favorable results as you age. Make sure you take care of the fabulous part of you people see most by making sure they are able to see the glow you have inside of you on your face.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous or Faux Fabulous: J. Lo's White Fur and White Pants

Last week Jennifer Lopez was spotted out in NYC wearing a white fur and white pants. In regards to women’s furs, I usually like them to be a little bit more fitted to show off their figure and recommend adding a belt to give it more of a shape. When it comes to stark white in the winter, I still think it is Faux Fabulous. My recommendation is an off white or a winter white, but you should never wear stark white in the winter which is Rule No. 5 in the “All Things Fabulous” rulebook. I will have to give this look a Faux Fabulous because as the saying goes, “two wrongs don’t make a right.” What do my FABs think and make sure you vote in the poll to the right?

The Esteem of a Fabulous Person

When I met one of my best friends years ago, he thought I had low self-esteem because I always wore designer clothes and looked pretty fabulous. He was a little off the mark and he eventually told me his initial judgment of me was incorrect.

Let me just tell you, fashion is my middle name and fabulous is my game (I know, this is a little corny, but I like it). I always make sure I look good because I am a brand; I represent Daryl J. at all times. I always knew this, even at a young age. So even though the designer clothes are not representative of my insecurities, it does not mean I possess the highest self-esteem.

Honestly, I am just like anyone else. I question if what I write will be read, if the clothes I put on will make a statement or just make me look a fool, and how good I look to others. These are all things that run through my mind from time to time and I am sure I am not the only one.

I know my strengths and play off of them. By no means do I think I am a “10,” but I know I have a “10” personality and am fabulous. In this world where there is always someone better than you at something, you must focus on your strengths and let those strengths serve as the foundation of who you are in life.

I learned a long time ago from Reverend Watley at my church that horses do not have good peripheral vision, so while racing, they wear blinders so they are able to focus on what is ahead of them instead of the distractions surrounding them.

So in the race of life, I challenge everyone to put on your blinders to block out that which distracts you from being fabulous and impedes the process of discovering who you are as a person. There will be distractions along the way, but they will only distract you if you pay more attention to the distraction than the goal ahead.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous or Faux Fabulous: The Louis Vuitton Condom

If someone ever pulled out a $68 Louis Vuitton condom in the heat of the moment, I am going to be upset because that is money that could go towards sponsoring a new Louis Vuitton bag for my collection. On a side note, I have never had a sponsor, but if a man were to decide he wants to willingly sponsor me without any prompting, I have never been one to turn down a charitable donation. Now back to the topic at hand. All I have to say is this: you get no FAB points from me with this one. In my book, I give this one a Faux Fabulous. What do my FABs think, is this Fabulous or Faux Fabulous? As always, vote in the poll and let me know your opinions below in the comments.

Bond No. 9 "I Love New York" Fragrance Video

Last week I picked Bond No. 9 "I Love New York For All" as my FAB alert, but I was recording another video and then decided to talk about this fragrance. I edited the video and thought I would share it with you all because it is good. Watch it and let me know what you think below in the comments section.

It Is Never Fabulous To Be Ignorant

After watching the RHOA where Marlo used the "F" word, I decided to briefly discuss the use of this word and how fabulous people should always make sure they never say something they regret. Let me know your opinion on this topic below in the comments section.

FAB Alert: Bond No. 9 "I Love New York" Fragrance

Recently while out shopping, I was introduced to one of the newest fragrances by Bond No. 9 and it was love at first sight, I meant smell. Bond No. 9 is one of the most elite and exclusive fragrance companies in the world, and since it is based in New York, the company decided to pay tribute to its hometown. In conjunction with the iconic I Love New York brand (currently playing Madonna’s “I Love New York” to get me in the right state of mind), the company decided to create a new line of fragrances that embody the many scents of this renowned city in a tributary manner. Over the next few years, they will introduce a few different versions at a time until the series tentatively reaches a total of 15 different versions. I purchased the black one the other day (I Love New York for All) and it is the perfect combination of sweet and sophisticated. I would suggest every FAB one have at least one bottle of Bond No. 9 in their repertoire. I know they are pricey and will set you back a pretty penny for a fragrance, but they definitely make a statement. However, I understand if you only spray one spritz every time you wear it to conserve the bottle. Now consider yourself up-to-date on all things fabulous!

Make Sure You Smell As Fabulous As You Look

When I was a child, the one thing I will always remember is my mother’s fragrance collection. When you entered her bedroom and saw her dresser, you would have thought you were at the Nordstrom fragrance counter. Every morning she would always spray a different perfume and it would linger throughout the house for quite sometime. As I grew up, I did not know it initially, but she is the cause of my fragrance addiction.

To me, fragrance is the final accessory of any outfit. It helps to leave a lasting impression and completes your ensemble. Few people think about this, but the fragrance you wear says a lot about who you are, so always make sure your fragrance is saying what you want it to say.

According to many old school FAB ones, they say you should have both a day and night fragrance. A day fragrance usually has lighter notes, while an evening fragrance is stronger and more intense.

If you have not noticed, a lot of fragrances come with an alternative summer version. The reason for this is because they have lighter notes and are not as strong. I love this because these fragrances make you smell really fresh throughout the day on those hot summer days, so believe me when I say you should invest in building a summer collection, it will be worth it.

I know it may cost more, but I always recommend purchasing the eau de parfum over the eau de toilette because the parfum contains more oil and will last longer on your skin. The primary reason why most toilettes do not last long is because there is not a high oil content in the fragrance.

Just be careful because some eau de parfums unfortunately will stain your garments, so I recommend applying the fragrance and letting it dry before you get dressed. However, you should never really apply fragrance before getting dressed because some will not only stain your clothes, but may change the color of your clothes due to the chemical substance of the fragrance reacting with the dye in your clothes.

When out shopping, I only recommend smelling a maximum of three fragrances in the store at a time because if you smell too many, you will send your olfactory senses into overdrive and will not really be able to smell the notes of the different fragrances. Because fragrances interact with your natural body odor, never buy one just because it smells good on the sample paper or someone else. If you smell a fragrance you like, ask for a sample (there is nothing wrong with this) and wear it a day or two to see how you really like it on yourself before you purchase a whole bottle of it.

At the end of the day, a fragrance should compliment who you are and your fabulous style. There is nothing wrong with having a signature fragrance, but add at least two additional fragrances to your rotation to wear occasionally so you do not become predictable.

Remember this: a good fragrance should be able to tell me all about you and how fabulous you are, even if I am unable to see you, so keep this in mind the next time you are out shopping.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous or Faux Fabulous: G-String Wedding Gown

Fashion shows are all about creating buzz around your line, but German bridal designer Kaviar Gauche took it to the next level this season. I would show you all the back of this creation, but my blog is PG-13 and the rearview is NSFW. In my mind, the only way this is acceptable is if you are a stripper getting married in Las Vegas. The average woman already goes through enough turmoil trying to loose weight to fit their wedding gown or get that beach ready body before summer, so this is combining two epidemics into one to create the ultimate bridezilla (grooms take cover!). I have to give this one a Faux Fabulous in my book. What do my FAB ones think, is this Fabulous or Faux Fabulous? As always, vote in the poll and let me know your opinions below in the comments.

Live Life Fabulously

Overtime it has become a part of our culture to overwork ourselves. Everyone talks about how they are “grinding,” but even the gears on a machine after grinding so long wear down and need to be replaced. Unfortunately, we are not machines and the effects of exhaustion on our bodies are much more dire.

Last spring when I was completing my bachelors degree (a 15 credit semester), I worked full-time while also completing an internship. Towards the end of the semester, I was so exhausted and worn out, I became sick. I was supposed to then go to Atlanta to complete another internship, but I had to cancel it because I needed to rest and restore my fabulous.

I became so caught up with trying to make life happen, I forgot about me. Sometime ago (years before Drake said it) Rev. Sheleta Fomby at my church taught me “everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” And when you stop to think about this for a moment, it is true. Now I always make sure I have a good balance in life (or at least I try to).

What I love to do most in life is spend time with my friends. I am an only child, so they are like family to me. I love going out to eat at fabulous restaurants around the city and just getting together at our homes to relax and catch up with one another.

So do what makes you happy and brings you joy in life. But before it gets too late in the New Year, you may need to take a moment to redefine how you live your life. Spend more time with your partner, your kids, your friends, and your family. These are the people who contribute to making your life fabulous. You work hard, so make sure you take time to reap the rewards of all your hard work.

I want everyone to know that life is too short to be working hard to maintain a fabulous lifestyle while not making time to live fabulously. In my eyes, the downfall of our culture is the corporate belief we have that we must always work so much. Let down your hair (or go get a fresh haircut for the gentlemen), put on a fabulous outfit, and go out to have fun. My challenge to you for 2012 is to live. It is time to come back to life and live your life fabulously!

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Fabulous Event Etiquette

I originally wanted to publish this post before Christmas, but I then decided to push my blog launch into the New Year. However, this is an important topic, so I definitely want to make sure I talk about it with everyone, especially since the weekend is right around the corner.

When attending celebrations or events at someone’s house, you should always take a nice bottle of wine or alcohol with you as a gift. I learned this while attending Oprah’s School of Gifting (maybe this is not a real school, but I think I sound fabulous when I say it, at least I think so).

I was taught you never want to show up to someone’s house empty handed, but the person who came up with this concept had an ulterior motive. I believe the person went to the house of enough people where there was horrible alcohol, so they came up with this polite way to bring their own, and then it became proper etiquette.

Everyone has been in that awkward situation when you are at someone’s house and think to yourself, “Who bought all this cheap alcohol?” At times like this, you always are able to open what you brought. My biggest pet peeve is when people bring the cheap, I mean inexpensive alcohol and are the first to drink the good stuff. (Um-hmm, I see you with your faux fabulous self.)

No one judge me, but when I attend functions and throw my own, I always take notice of who brings the (I have a good phrase for it) “less than desirable” alcohol. I either will never invite you over again or I will make sure I fail to arrive at an event at the same time you do so I am not associated with your “less than desirable” gifting habits.  

Here is my rationale: being fabulous is a lifestyle, so do not come to an event wearing Gucci, but you brought Pearl vodka and are running for the Ciroc the second they open the bottle. I am not saying you have to gift top shelf alcohol, because I do not depending on the event and whose event it is, but a fabulous person would never give others alcohol they themselves would never drink. Plain and simple.

So when getting ready to attend your events this weekend, please keep this in mind because people will talk about you no matter what, so just make sure you give them something fabulous to talk about.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!