The Fabulous Renovation of Me

After a long spring semester and a brief hiatus from my blog, I have done an introspection and decided it is time for a renovation. Much like a house needs to be updated every so often, fashion designers update their classics, and car companies release new models of their cars, I decided it is time to develop Daryl J. Version 5.0.

Honestly, the last couple of months have been quite tumultuous for me. I am a little bruised, battered, and beaten. But I have made it through. I have always been a tenacious individual, so I had to employ some tenacity and tapped into my intestinal fortitude to make it through the past few months. We all go through tough seasons in our lives and I am no different.

One of the Pastors I follow on Twitter (@JayGamble) recently referenced Langston’s Hughes poem “From Mother to Son.” Langston is one of my favorite poets and this is one of my favorite poems. The premise of the poem is how the mother has lived a hard life and had many painful experiences along the way, but has managed to persevere through the difficult obstacles she has experienced in her life.

I know the human condition is hard, but being the best you is your way of surviving it. Sometimes you have to adapt to the changes in your life and your new environment by reinventing yourself. You too must go through an introspection process and do an inventory to determine that which needs improvement inside of you.

One of the aspects I plan to improve is my weight. I am happiest and feel my best when I am at a certain weight which I am not at right now. (I will talk more about this in a future article) Another aspect I plan to change is just working on improving me overall.

As I always say, I live a hectic live and have noticed that in the midst of all the chaos, I have lost focus of myself. I have a lot going on in my life right now and am going through a transitional process. While in this process though, I have forgotten how important it is to focus on that which continually makes and keeps me happy.

So while doing some spring cleaning, do a spring introspection and take inventory of that which you wish to improve within yourself. It may be boosting your confidence to date again, losing weight like me, or mustering up the courage to go back to school.

Change is good and I am sure no matter whom you are that you could use some renovations in your life. Life is not a crystal stair, but it does not mean we have to look like we have taken the stairs with tacks in it to get to where we are now in life. You do not have to look like your situation, but always remember the exact details of your situation.

Feel free to tell people about what you renovated in your life and do not leave out a single thing. After time, we begin to forget how hard our experiences were and sugarcoat the pain we endured. Pain propels us to the next level in life, so never diminish the pain you felt for any reason. Who knows, your story may minister to someone else and help them through their situation without you even knowing it.

The time has come and the season is now for you to renovate yourself. You may have pushed it back until you have the mental resources available or because it is a painful process. Whatever the reason, this process cannot wait.

If you are not sure about how to start the renovation process, read my blog article on the 30 Day Reset which will serve as a great starting point. In order to bring about change in our lives sometimes, it has to start with us. So get together your plan for renovation with your ultimate goal and make sure you stick to it because it is time to become a better you.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Never Envy the Fabulous of Someone Else

A smart person told me a long time ago, “You may see my glory, but you do not know my story.” What they meant by this is you see how fabulous I am on the outside, but you do not know what I had to go through to get here. This phrase changed my life because from that moment on, I never wanted what anyone else had in life.

Growing up we all admire the nice clothes, cars, and houses of others. But what we do not know is what it took to obtain these accoutrements. I am sure if we could interrogate the fabulous wardrobe, house, and cars of some of the most fabulous people in the world, they would have a story to tell.

When you see that woman walking down the street in her Louboutins, Chanel suit, and getting into a Lexus, you do not know what is really going on in her life. You do not know many nights she could not sleep because she could not afford to quit the job she hates or the countless days she spent working overtime so her Lexus would not get repossessed. We do not know the whole story because I am sure there is more there than meets the eye.

Maybe she has the fine man who looks like he just walked off the cover of GQ, but the relationship is empty. Maybe he has the perfectly chiseled body, but he has cancer. The cover of a person’s story may be appealing, but the actual story may be a gut wrenching, tear jerker.

Everyone has a story; we just do not always know it. I am not saying there is anything wrong with admiring someone and wishing you had their lifestyle, but be careful because you do not know what they had to go through to get where they are in life. People often tell me I seem like I live a nice life. In my head I am thinking, “Do you know what I have to go through to keep it up?” It is a lot of hard work.

I bring all this up to say that sometimes in life you should stay in your own lane, at your own pace. Do not worry about what everyone else has or is doing because you do not know what they went through to get it and the price they had to pay for it.

You may not be able to live a Louboutin life yet, but there is nothing wrong with that. Aspire to someday be able to purchase a pair, but be content with a pair of shoes from Steve Madden in the interim. With hard work and dedication, anything is possible. So at the end of the day, never envy what others have because their stuff may be fabulous, but their life may not.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

It Is Time to Get Rid of All Your Fabulous Excess Baggage

After a recent discussion I had with one of my friends, it made me think about all the excessive emotional baggage we carry around with us on a daily basis. Some of us have our emotions in plastic bags while others of us have our emotions in designer bags. In those bags may be some stuff we ourselves did not even put in there, so we want to check for any stowaway issues and remove them. Unfortunately at the end of the day, we are all carrying around some excess baggage, so it is time to let it go.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Always Maintain Your Fabulous

We are only two months into the New Year, and even though the calendar year has changed, that does not mean your situation in life has changed. It is important to know that whatever your situation in life may be, you should never look like it.

Being fabulous does not take a vacation. I do not care if you are unemployed, depressed, your man or girl left you, whatever. The best revenge against this thing called life which will try to rid you of your fabulous at every given chance is to always maintain your fabulous at all times.

I know this first hand. Some years ago I went trough a fiscally challenging period in my life, but I was determined to not look like it. I did not have the money to go shopping, so I went shopping in my closet and wore clothes I forgot I had and clothes I had not worn in a long time. I also could not afford to get my haircut regularly like I used to, so I bought some hair gel and used the gel to bring out the small curls in my wavy hair.

I say all this to show you how when times get hard, you have to reach into your fabulous bag of tricks and throw a wrench in life’s plan. You have to think outside of the box and redefine your fabulous. What I went through was definitely a defining moment for me and why I say it costs nothing to be fabulous because I know this first hand. Of course with money we are all able to get nicer things, but for those of you experiencing fiscal challenges right now, this is my way of letting you know you are still able to be fabulous.

All my FAB ones out there, it is our responsibility to help keep each other fabulous. When your associate in fabulous is going through something, help to make sure they maintain their fabulous and let them know when they start to slip. At one point in time or another, we all need a little support, so it is our duty as FAB ones to ban together and serve as a support system. I know whatever you are going through may be painful, but always remember the fact that you feel pain is an indication you still have life left within you, so strive to live fabulously no matter what.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Being Fabulous Does Not Equate to Being Stuck-Up

I often get told that people are shocked I am so nice because I do not seem like I would be. After thinking about this for a moment, I figured out why: most people who are considered fabulous act stuck up, so these two terms over time have become synonymous.

When I described my blog I said, “I do not think I am more fabulous than life.” But truth be told, there are some people who do. Being fabulous in no way means a faux fabulous attitude is required. Humility is imperative no matter how fabulous you are at the end of the day because we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

It really does not matter which designer clothes you wear, the car you drive, or the size of your house. These things are all nice (trust me, they are), but they are just things. At the end of the day, being fabulous requires no external assistance. There is nothing wrong with employing the accoutrements of a fabulous life, but to be fabulous, it is really all about you.

Let me tell you, if you put on a trash bag and walk outside and you are really fabulous, people will still see how fabulous you are in life. So stop getting caught up on the images portrayed in the media of fabulous and define it for yourself.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

FAB Alert: Louis Vuitton's Revelation Keep-All Bag

Recently I saw this Louis Vuitton (LV) bag I wanted, so I am online searching for it because it is not shown on the LV website and I am singing to myself, “I’m getting a new Louis, I’m getting a new Louis!” I finally pull up the information on the bag, get my wallet, and pull out my credit card. Then I see the bag is part of a special collection only sold at the LV flagship stores with a price tag of $4,040. When I tell you I have never put my credit card back in my wallet so fast ever in life. The Revelation Keep-All bag came with a revelation that if I purchase it, I may wind up evicted from my apartment in a month or two, so I have mentally put the bag on lay-away in my mind. I like exclusive things, but I do not think there is space for my sofa, dinning room table, big screen TV, and at least my bed in there. Seriously, the bag is fabulous and seeing how Valentine’s Day is next week and my birthday is just around the corner, I thought I would drop a few hints in case someone wishes to gift this to me. As I said in my “Reasonably Fabulous” blog article, being fabulous is about living within your means and knowing when you should really splurge on an item. Even though I am able to buy the bag, at this point in my life while I have a lot of other goals I am working on achieving, it is not an item I need to purchase because it will distract me from achieving my goals. The bag moved me in some kind of fabulous way though, especially with its red interior, so I wanted to share this fabulous item with you all. Now do you all see why I like it? Whew! Now that that is out of the way, back to our regularly scheduled fabulous programming…

The Esteem of a Fabulous Person

When I met one of my best friends years ago, he thought I had low self-esteem because I always wore designer clothes and looked pretty fabulous. He was a little off the mark and he eventually told me his initial judgment of me was incorrect.

Let me just tell you, fashion is my middle name and fabulous is my game (I know, this is a little corny, but I like it). I always make sure I look good because I am a brand; I represent Daryl J. at all times. I always knew this, even at a young age. So even though the designer clothes are not representative of my insecurities, it does not mean I possess the highest self-esteem.

Honestly, I am just like anyone else. I question if what I write will be read, if the clothes I put on will make a statement or just make me look a fool, and how good I look to others. These are all things that run through my mind from time to time and I am sure I am not the only one.

I know my strengths and play off of them. By no means do I think I am a “10,” but I know I have a “10” personality and am fabulous. In this world where there is always someone better than you at something, you must focus on your strengths and let those strengths serve as the foundation of who you are in life.

I learned a long time ago from Reverend Watley at my church that horses do not have good peripheral vision, so while racing, they wear blinders so they are able to focus on what is ahead of them instead of the distractions surrounding them.

So in the race of life, I challenge everyone to put on your blinders to block out that which distracts you from being fabulous and impedes the process of discovering who you are as a person. There will be distractions along the way, but they will only distract you if you pay more attention to the distraction than the goal ahead.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

It Is Never Fabulous To Be Ignorant

After watching the RHOA where Marlo used the "F" word, I decided to briefly discuss the use of this word and how fabulous people should always make sure they never say something they regret. Let me know your opinion on this topic below in the comments section.

Live Life Fabulously

Overtime it has become a part of our culture to overwork ourselves. Everyone talks about how they are “grinding,” but even the gears on a machine after grinding so long wear down and need to be replaced. Unfortunately, we are not machines and the effects of exhaustion on our bodies are much more dire.

Last spring when I was completing my bachelors degree (a 15 credit semester), I worked full-time while also completing an internship. Towards the end of the semester, I was so exhausted and worn out, I became sick. I was supposed to then go to Atlanta to complete another internship, but I had to cancel it because I needed to rest and restore my fabulous.

I became so caught up with trying to make life happen, I forgot about me. Sometime ago (years before Drake said it) Rev. Sheleta Fomby at my church taught me “everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” And when you stop to think about this for a moment, it is true. Now I always make sure I have a good balance in life (or at least I try to).

What I love to do most in life is spend time with my friends. I am an only child, so they are like family to me. I love going out to eat at fabulous restaurants around the city and just getting together at our homes to relax and catch up with one another.

So do what makes you happy and brings you joy in life. But before it gets too late in the New Year, you may need to take a moment to redefine how you live your life. Spend more time with your partner, your kids, your friends, and your family. These are the people who contribute to making your life fabulous. You work hard, so make sure you take time to reap the rewards of all your hard work.

I want everyone to know that life is too short to be working hard to maintain a fabulous lifestyle while not making time to live fabulously. In my eyes, the downfall of our culture is the corporate belief we have that we must always work so much. Let down your hair (or go get a fresh haircut for the gentlemen), put on a fabulous outfit, and go out to have fun. My challenge to you for 2012 is to live. It is time to come back to life and live your life fabulously!

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Never Apologize for Being Fabulous

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson (or Nelson Mandela depending on who you ask)

I remember reading this quote as a child, and to this day, it has always stuck with me. As children, we are taught by our parents not to show-off or to be overly confident. But I think this does us a disservice as adults because we are unable to acknowledge those areas in life where we excel.

I think a lot of you are fabulous and know it, but you tone it down so that you do not offend others and so that you do not shine brighter than them. Stop this immediately! What makes you fabulous is different from what makes them fabulous, so trust me when I say you are not stealing their spotlight.

When you are fabulous and living your life, never apologize to anyone for living your life because they are they not living theirs. When people see you are comfortable with who you are, you know who you are, and are unapologetic, it shakes their foundation and makes them a little insecure.

From time to time, this will happen, but always be unapologetic for being fabulous. They may be a little jealous of how fabulous you are and how you live your life, but that is their issue, not yours. So always live your life as fabulously as possible and never tone it down at the request of someone else.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!

Reasonably Fabulous!

Usually when I write, I draw my topics and inspiration from life. Sometimes it is from mine and sometimes it is from the lives of others, but this time it is a mix. I, like most of the people I know, have a reality TV addiction and one of my favorite shows right now is “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

Like many others, I have lately noticed how Sheree runs around town looking fabulous with an arsenal of Hermes Birkin bags ($10,000 handbags) and a new Porsche Panamera ($75,000 car), but I wonder if things are as fabulous as they appear. Like Phaedra said, “Perception is reality.” And for far too many of us, we want people to perceive we are more fabulous than we actually are with our material possessions. We have the accoutrements that make us fabulous, but this fails to guarantee we are fabulous.

I am not about to bash Sheree, but to all of my FAB ones out there reading, I would like to teach you about how to live fabulously. When I was younger and still F.I.T. (fabulous in training), I did not realize the importance of money. My life was consumed with looking good and sparing no expense to do so. I was living paycheck to paycheck because I would spend money on the newest designer clothes every week, meanwhile I really had nothing to show for it.

As I have matured, I have come to realize that my fabulous is not based on my clothes, it is based on me. I now have a handsome savings account (it is almost as handsome as I am) and think twice before I make any purchase.

It is about living a 360 degree fabulous life. This means looking good, having a nice home, traveling in style, but still having money in your account. Being fabulous is about living within your means and not beyond them. So if you partake in this practice, now is a good time to curtail this bad habit and begin to brainstorm some type of saving strategy.

So in this New Year, evaluate your cost of being fabulous. If it is costing you too much, you may need to change something so you are not living a faux fabulous life.

Because to be fabulous, you have to know what makes you fabulous!